• Simon's Sword by Jen Jenivive, front cover
  • Interior page from Simon's Sword by Jen Jenivive
  • Interior page from Simon's Sword by Jen Jenivive
  • Interior page from Simon's Sword by Jen Jenivive
  • Simon's Sword by Jen Jenivive, back cover
1 5

Simon's Sword

Simon's Sword

$18.00
$18.00
Sale Sold out

Buy 2 books, get a 3rd free until 31 October. The cheapest one comes off automatically.

Taxes included. Shipping calculated at checkout.
4.5 from 188 reader reviews across Jen's books
Edition

Autographed copies are signed by Jen by hand in Derbyshire and posted from the UK. Allow up to 7 days for the signing, then the usual post time.
  • Printed in the USAPosted by USPS, with you in about a week
  • No hidden feesJust the book plus delivery, no import charges
  • Secure checkoutShop Pay, PayPal, cards
Visa Mastercard PayPalShop Pay Apple Pay Google Pay American Express Klarna

Wrong book, damaged or lost in the post? Email hello@jenjenivive.com with a photo and Jen puts it right. 30 days to return a copy in the condition it arrived.

Printed in the USA and posted by USPS, with you in about a week. Delivery about $4 for one book, free when you spend $35.

more like thisFor himPride
  • 38 illustrated pages. Read aloud in five minutes, badly, at volume.
  • Illustrated paperback. Passes for a kids' book on the shelf. Is not one.
  • Built to be gifted. Wrap it, hand it over in front of people, watch their face on page three.

peek inside3 of the pages, so you know what you are unleashing

Watch Jen read it

*** For Mature Readers Only ***

Simon has a sword, but he's desperate to have a sword fight. Will he get his happy ending? (Pun very much intended.) Follow Simon on his journey!

This book is pure fiction and not based on anyone I know in real life. Don't sue me. I have nothing!

Buy this book if:

  • You have a sword
  • You like swords
  • You like sword fights
  • Your name is Simon or Stuart
  • You enjoy silly, immature humour and cheeky innuendos
  • You want to support an independent British author

* Reasons to buy are not limited to the 6 listed above.

Want it signed?

Choose the Autographed edition and I will sign the cover and write a personal message inside. Add a note to your order with who it is for and anything you would like me to write. If there is no note, I sign the cover only. Please allow up to 7 days for signed copies.

Book details

  • Pages: 38
  • Published: March 2025
  • ISBN: 9798313692180
  • Author: Jen Jenivive
  • Binding: Paperback
  • Language: English

Want to personalise this book? Find the Customised version here.

More in the Simon, Stuart and Lance books

Gobble My SausageComingFisting

Find it on these shelves

For HimFunny LGBTQ+ Books

Gift guides

Funny LGBTQ+ gift books

Every book A to Z

View full details

Readers also grabbed

Pairs well with this one

Real pairings from real orders.

Two books and delivery is free in the UK, Europe and the USA, over £40 everywhere else.

  • 5 stars: 1 (100%)
  • 4 stars: 0 (0%)
  • 3 stars: 0 (0%)
  • 2 stars: 0 (0%)
  • 1 star: 0 (0%)
P
Pascal claeys
Simon’s Sword: Desperate duelist seeks epic clash ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Simon’s got this shiny, grand sword—always waving it around, taking it to work, handling it constantly—but he’s so desperate for a proper sword fight. Rejection everywhere until the right opponent shows up, ready to clash, thrust, parry, and deliver that deep, satisfying clash of hilts with a happy (very punny) ending. Rhyming gay swordplay puns stacked so shamelessly it’s basically fencing foreplay. Short read, but laughed till my sides were fencing each other. Jen Jenivive’s rainbow-tinted degeneracy sequel to Helen’s Hole—pure filthy genius. Buy it if your humor’s ready to cross swords. ⚔️🏳️‍🌈😂

Its always a pleasure reading your reviews Pascal!! I need more of them!